Updated: Aug 17, 2020
When we compare ourselves to others, we lack understanding.
We lack the understanding of how God views each of us (individually).
We are uniquely and wonderfully made by God.
There is no one like me or you on this Earth.
You are unique and special.
Unique means one of a kind; unlike anything else.
When you compare yourself to others, you are forgetting the special gifts and qualities God gave you and that make you unique.
"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:14 NIV
*** Transformation Homework ***:
Write down your personality traits, gifts and talents.
When you feel like you want to start comparing yourself to others, look at this list. This list will remind you of all the qualities God gave you that makes you
unique and special!
Here are some reasons why you should NOT compare yourself to others:
- Each one of us are God's Masterpiece!
- We each have different gifts and talents that is connected to our own individual purpose.
- We have different wants and needs that will fulfill our unique minds, bodies and souls.
- Each one of us came to Earth for a unique purpose and calling that God gave us. Your purpose is for the advancement of the Kingdom!
"Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other. In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you. If your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well. If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly." Romans 12: 4-8 NLT
Here are the DOs and DO NOTs to Comparing Yourself To Others:
1. Focus on God
When you focus on God and the plans that he has for your life, it is easier to have less negative thoughts (comparison thoughts). Focusing on God includes talking to God, praying, worshipping, and reading the bible. When you focus on God, you are able to hear all of the good plans that he has for you. These plans will direct you to your calling and purpose in this life. Your vision will be clear on what God has for you, instead of thinking of others.
"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
Jeremiah 29:13 NIV
2. Focus on Yourself
Focus on the talents God has given you, not someone else. Your talents, no matter how different or similar it maybe to someone else, should not and can not be compared. You can have the same talent as someone else, but is still different because you look different, speak differently and think differently. Your unique qualities intertwined with your talents, will reach certain people that others can not. Concentrate on what God has asked you to present to the world. As you focus on putting out positive work, your light can shine bright and can led others to the Kingdom!
"Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. For we are each responsible for our own conduct."
Galatians 6:4-5 NLT
3. Be Kind to Others
Whenever you have a thought of jealously, try to stop the thought and think of something kind to do for that person. A kind act would include praying for that person, sending a nice text, helping that person with a task or getting them a small gift. God always wants us to be kind and loving to one another. Doing something positive can help eliminate negative feelings of comparison.
"Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you."
Ephesians 4:31-32 NLT
4. Think About What is Good
God wants us to think about what is good as much as possible. Comparing yourself to others is not a good thought. Good thoughts would include thanking and worshipping God, loving others, kind acts, accomplishing goals and much more. Reading the bible, watching sermons, listening to worship music and surrounding yourself with positive content can help you to think good thoughts.
"And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise."
Philippians 4:8 NLT
1. Seek Approval from Others
Seeking Approval from others can lead to comparison from others.
For example: You may seek approval from a teacher. Then that teacher compares you to another student in a negative way. This hurts your feelings and leads you to start competing with the other student. You may develop low esteem and other negative thinking from this.
We should never seek the approval of others. We should only look to serve God and please God. Sometimes God will tell you to do something that the world thinks is crazy. Seeking approval from others can cause you to separate from God and his plans for you.
Always follow God's directions, even if others do not approve!
*Remember - Jesus was a perfect human on Earth, lived without sin and people still hated him. God is the only Judge and the only approval you need!
"Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant."
Galatians 1:10 NLT
2. Be Jealous of What Someone Has
There are many reasons why you should not be jealous of what someone has.
Here are a few:
1. You do not know what that person did to get what they have.
For example: That person works day and night to buy their big house. They missed many nights with their family and barely live in the house. That person is angry, depressed and sad. However, you have a smaller house and you have nights and weekends off. You sleep peacefully and spend lots of time with your family. You are happy and content with your life.
Its better to be content with what you have instead of being jealous of others.
2. Someone's blessing could be a curse for you.
For example: You see a woman with 4 kids and you have 2 kids. You become jealous because you always wanted 4 kids. However, God knows that you would be a tired and mean mom with 4 kids. You would complain, be angry and not enjoy 4 kids at all. With 2 kids, you are a loving mom and have a great relationship with your kids.
Sometimes we think we may want certain blessings that others have, but God knows if we get that blessing, it will turn into a curse.
3. Being jealous is a fruitless emotion.
Being jealous leads to other fruitless emotions such as anger, sadness, greed and more. To be a fruitful Christian, we have to try hard to let go of negative emotions.
Having fruitful emotions such as joy, peace and love, leads to an abundant, Christ-like life that pleases God!
“You shall not covet [that is, selfishly desire and attempt to acquire] your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”
Exodus 20:17 AMP
3. Boast About Yourself
As Christians, we should not be jealous of others or provoke others to be jealous of us by our boasting. We should humbly steward our gifts and serve others. Let God and others boast about you and your good deeds!
This is what the Lord says:
“Don’t let the wise boast in their wisdom,
or the powerful boast in their power,
or the rich boast in their riches.
But those who wish to boast
should boast in this alone:
that they truly know me and understand that I am the Lord
who demonstrates unfailing love
and who brings justice and righteousness to the earth,
and that I delight in these things.
I, the Lord, have spoken!"
Jeremiah 9:23-24 NLT
Meditate on this scripture & say it in prayer: A Psalm of David
The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need. He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams. He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name. Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me. You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. You honor me by anointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings. Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord forever. Psalm 23:1-6 NLT
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