Updated: Sep 6, 2021
God calls us to wait until marriage to have sex.
Here are the 4 main reasons why God would like you to wait.
1. Waiting Allows God to Grow You
When you are single, God is growing (maturing) you and growing your relationship with him.
When you have sex outside of marriage, this takes away from you being able to grow by yourself. Other people interfere and take away from your growth process.
Instead of having sex, you could be exercising, working, saving money, traveling, serving the church and the poor… There are so many other positive things you could be doing.
Growing yourself is so important because God calls us to have the fruits of the spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, etc.).
The fruits of the spirit are what you NEED to have a loving, joyful, peaceful and long-lasting marriage (and other relationships).
Having sex outside of marriage is not growing you in the fruits of the spirit!
It could actually do the opposite, like make you feel sad, depressed, angry, jealousy and more!
If you are having sex outside of marriage, think back to all the times you wasted having sex and think of all the things you could have been doing and learning?
Not waiting until marriage also hinders your growth with God because you are spending time doing something you should not be doing, instead of spending time with God.
You not waiting until marriage, shows God that you care more about sex than him.
You are now making sex an idol!
Our #1 priority should always be God.
God is the way we can get to heaven.
God is the only way we can get through this life without losing our soul and our mind.
God can only teach us how to love and respect one another, not sex!!!
2. Waiting Teaches Us Patience
Waiting for sex teaches us the fruit of the spirit: Patience.
I have trouble in this area at times.
In this generation, we want everything RIGHT NOW!
And sometimes, if we don’t get what we want, it causes us to have a mental breakdown.
This is not what God wants for us!
We are called to be patient because things take time.
It takes time to grow a baby in a mother’s womb.
It takes time for a baby to grow into an adult.
It takes time to go to school and graduate.
It takes time to save money to buy something special.
Everything great in life takes time.
It even took God 6 days to make the Earth.
If God, the creator of the universe, took time to make things perfect… why can’t you do the same?
When we are not patient, we could possibly birth something horrible in our lives that God did not want or plan for us!!! (Read the Biblical story about Abraham & Sarah!)
Patiently grow your dating relationship, pray to God and fast to see if God called you to marry this person. Hopefully your seeds of patience will grow into a promising, long-lasting marriage (or keep you from making a huge mistake and marrying the wrong person!)
Also, the fruit of patience will be needed when you do get married! Patience to always love and be kind to your spouse, even in tough times!
So please wait till marriage to have sex and be patient.
3. Sex Interferes With Your Dating Relationship
Sex before marriage interferes with the growth process during a dating/courtship relationship.
When you have sex before marriage, it clouds your judgement of who the person is in front of you. When having sex with someone, the person may look at lot better than they actually are. You may miss all of their flaws and important aspects that you need to know such as personality quirks, childhood wounds, mental health struggles, trauma triggers and much more. Knowing this information is crucial when growing a relationship with someone or perhaps letting this person go and ending the relationship altogether.
Also, if you are having sex, when do you have time to talk about your purpose, plans for a family, plans for God, how you want to live in your home and so much more.
All of these questions are so important to ask when you are dating and looking to get married.
You are getting to know a person, how they communicate, what they like and dislike… when do you have time to discover that if you are having sex?
4. Only MARRIED People Should Have Sex!
Lastly, God calls us to wait till marriage because God only wants married people to enjoy it!
Sex is not for people who are immature.
Sex is not for single people.
Sex is for the enjoyment of two people (man & woman), joined by God and who made the covenant to remain with each other for life!
Also, God wanted babies to be made inside of marriage!
Babies are a blessing and a gift from God for people who are in a loving, Christ-centered relationship.
God wants his children to be raised in a household that HE designed and put together!
Here are some Bible verses about Waiting until Marriage:
"Run away from sexual immorality [in any form, whether thought or behavior, whether visual or written]. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the one who is sexually immoral sins against his own body."
- 1 Corinthians 6:18 AMP
"Marriage is to be held in honor among all [that is, regarded as something of great value], and the marriage bed undefiled [by immorality or by any sexual sin]; for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous."
- Hebrews 13:4 AMP
"No temptation [regardless of its source] has overtaken or enticed you that is not common to human experience [nor is any temptation unusual or beyond human resistance]; but God is faithful [to His word—He is compassionate and trustworthy], and He will not let you be tempted beyond your ability [to resist], but along with the temptation He [has in the past and is now and] will [always] provide the way out as well, so that you will be able to endure it [without yielding, and will overcome temptation with joy]."
- 1 Corinthians 10:13 AMP
"Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit or have any share in the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate [by perversion], nor those who participate in homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers [whose words are used as weapons to abuse, insult, humiliate, intimidate, or slander], nor swindlers will inherit or have any share in the kingdom of God."
- 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 AMP
"Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good morals.”
- 1 Corinthians 15:33 AMP
"But I say to the unmarried and to the widows, [that as a practical matter] it is good if they remain [single and entirely devoted to the Lord] as I am. But if they do not have [sufficient] self-control, they should marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion."
- 1 Corinthians 7:8-9 AMP
"Do not be unequally bound together with unbelievers [do not make mismatched alliances with them, inconsistent with your faith]. For what partnership can righteousness have with lawlessness? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?"
- 2 Corinthians 6:14 AMP
I know waiting till marriage is not easy… I will say this:
- For the people who are virgins: Great job and keep going!
- For the people who had sex before and are now waiting: Great job and don’t give up!
- For the people who are still having sex: I understand what you are going through. Please pray and repent of your sins. I will tell you that it is not too late to stop having sex. You can stop having sex right now… and when you do stop, Great job! Don’t stop trying, never give up and keep going! God sees your progress!
I really hope this post blesses you!